Tantrum or Meltdown?

Following my previous post on “My child is having a meltdown: What do I do?” I received a lot of questions about what a meltdown is, and how it is different to a tantrum. This post will help differentiate the two, as they have many similarities, but some important differences! Knowing how they are different will help you to know how to handle them.

Tantrum

What is it?

  • Described by “an angry or frustrated outburst”

  • You will see your child crying, yelling, lashing out, throwing things, holding their breath

  • Children have control of their behaviours during tantrums

  • Tantrums stop typically when the child gets what they want, get out of doing something they don’t want to do, or when they have given up.

Triggers

  • Frustration

  • Inability to communicate their needs or wants

  • A desire to get something that they cannot, avoid doing something that they do not want to do, or gain a reaction/attention from someone

Other signs

  • A child throwing a tantrum will pay attention to their surroundings

  • They will notice how others react to their behaviour, or if others change their behaviour accordingly

  • May try to bargain a solution to get what they want

  • Stop their misbehaviour/tantrum as soon as they get what they want, OR understand they will not get it

Meltdown

What is it?

  • Described by the feeling of “overwhelm”

  • You will see a child who may yell, cry, shut down, withdraw from a situation, go on their own

  • Children do not have control of their behaviours during meltdowns

  • A meltdown typically ends when the child has either worn themselves out, when there is a change in their surroundings or in their experience

Triggers

  • Overwhelm of emotions, information or sensory overload

  • Intense frustration

  • Sudden change to a routine or to expectations without adequate time to process the change

  • Inability to communicate their needs or wants

Other signs

  • A child having a meltdown typically does not have control over what they are doing, and often look panicked

  • They also appear “shut down from their surroundings” or try to escape their surroundings

  • Inability to process what is happening

  • Not able to respond to what people are saying to them

  • Due to their overwhelm, children experiencing a meltdown cannot problem-solve or negotiate

  • Once the meltdown finishes, the child typically needs time to recover and calm down

Theodora Constantinoutantrum, meltdown, questions, parenting, parent, child, emotions, overwhelmedComment