Let's admit it: Parenting is HARD!!
Parenting is so much work! Everything needs a song and dance: being playful, giving them choices, making charts, getting them special timers … When does it end? When can I just tell my child to do something and she just does it??
Such an important question that I hear so often! Parenting is HARD! Children can be EXHAUSTING. Little children are EXTRAORDINARILY EXHAUSTING!
What I have found, is that it is more fun when a family is tired and cheerful, rather than tired and irritable. There are so many tools that can help you achieve the former, rather than the latter.
Please don’t lose hope! It does get easier with time; the older they become, the more they can be in charge of themselves, especially if they have had the practice of making choices and being in charge of their own behaviour when they were younger.
As for the times when you do not have the patience or energy to come up with a great, fantastic, and specific tool, it does not mean that you are now a horrible parent. You still get credit from all those other times when you did make the effort!
The reward for taking that extra step to engage your child’s cooperation without orders, bribes and threats is ENORMOUS! Study, after study, after study, after study (!) has concluded that young children who are not constantly ordered around are much more likely to cooperate with simple requests (such as cleaning up toys when asked), compared to children who are micromanaged and controlled most of the time. They are also more likely to cooperate with another adult, such as a teacher. Bonus!!! And are even more likely to follow rules when no adults are present to control them!
Self-control can only be developed by practice, not by force!