Sleep routine: trying out new ideas

“Young children thrive within routines.”

We all know that. So when a routine changes, it is immensely discomforting (to say the least) for them. We see this by the disruption in their sleep, not letting them peacefully sleep through the night. This ultimately often affects their moods in the mornings and at school.

You, as parents have excellent ideas. Trust yourselves more! Consistently implement your ideas for some time. Your child needs to be given the time to adjust to their new routine.

Open discussion: Have an open discussion with your child about their new sleep schedule. Do so at a time when your child is calm and receptive, and discuss their new routine. Be prepared for refusal, questioning or even disruption! If this happens, I suggest accepting it, as it is very natural for a young child to feel upset by the changing of such an important routine. So reflect that back "I can see you’re upset".

Be open to a conversation by listening to their concerns and validating their feelings
"You think it's not fair that we’re asking you to sleep on your own" - children's concerns often seem so small compared to ours, and they are often met with disregard. This only heightens their emotional discomfort and behaviours, to illustrate more clearly what they are feeling (since until now the parents seem to not understand it in their eyes).

Acknowledge the feeling: Your child is highly resourceful, and they have found a way to convince their parents to come to them when they feel distressed by screaming. A parent’s instinct is to rush to their screaming child. I'd suggest you continue going to them, and also verbalise their situation "you feel VEEEEEERY upset", "I will stay with you until you sleep, and then I will continue what I was doing". Accepting and acknowledging their feelings at that time, but also be firm in how you will help them.

Brainstorm with them: Consider even creating a list with your child! Adopt a problem-solving mindset for both you and your child. There is a problem: they will not sleep on their own. At a time when they’re receptive for an open conversation, you can discuss this problem with them and write or draw out possible solutions you can all try out when they next feel upset about their new sleep routine. Start with something exaggerated (knock down all walls in the house so there are no boundaries between you all), and encourage them to add any reasonable and exaggerated solutions. When you cannot think of other solutions, you can all go over the list with them again, erasing the ones you cannot do "We cannot knock down all the walls in the house, because the house would then fall down". And stay with as many reasonable solutions to try out next time your child feels distressed.

Reminder: It is natural for parents to feel disappointed when your child is struggling to cope with their new routine. Give yourselves and your child the chance to adapt to this new routine. If it doesn't yet work, it might be because they are not yet ready to sleep on their own - and that's ok! Give them time and perhaps try again at a later time.

Hope these prove helpful! Feel free to comment on your own ideas that may help other parents, or whether these helped you!