Further questions to ask your psychologist

I got many responses to my previous post regarding questions people can prepare to ask their psychologist on the first session. How exciting is this process of preparing for your mental health journey!! Here are some more questions you can ask, with further clarifications.

“What services do you offer?”

If your mental health journey has just started, it is important to know how your psychologist works, and what services they offer. This can help you understand the rationale behind their work, their expertise, what their intervention style is, and whether that is in line with you, your family, and your values.

The chemistry between you and your psychologist is very important, so knowing this from the beginning is vital. Feel free to ask further and get to know that person as well as possible; you will be opening up to them the most after all.

Within my work, I provide parent consultations, psychoeducational assessments, and interventions for children and teenagers through Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT). You can learn more about CBT here, about assessments here, about children and teenager interventions here, and parent consultations here.

“Are you a licensed psychologist? Is your license active and in good standing?”

While jobs like Psychologist or Psychiatrist are terms that are only used following specific advanced degrees, unfortunately, anyone, regardless of training, can call themselves a therapist or coach. Considering this, it is important to make sure that the person you are working with is an active and licensed mental health provider. This does not only mean that the professional has the necessary degrees and training to provide services, but also that they are regulated and accredited by a professional board.

You can see a list of all licensed psychologists in Cyprus here.

“What evidence is there for your approach to intervention?”

No one wants to be in an endless, vague, and unclear therapy process that does not prove helpful. It is so important to ask your psychologist from the beginning about the evidence of their approach and its effectiveness.

Let’s not forget that psychology is a science, which means that our work should be scientific and based on empirical evidence. This means that their approach has been researched and supported by science and evidence.

Cognitive behavioural therapy is the approach I personally use in therapy, which is backed up by scientific and empirically based research. You can read more about it here.

“What will my intervention look like?”

Let’s say you have asked your basic questions, described why you are seeking to work with a psychologist and what you’d like to work on - your next step is to ask about their intervention plan as well as goals for each of your visits. Having a direction and a goal that you are both mutually working towards helps you and your psychologist be on the same page.

These goals will definitely be something you decide on together. After all, your goals are your goals! You should be involved in their making.

“What if I have no specific goals?”

If you are new to therapy, it is natural that you are not sure what your goals are or how you’d like to proceed. Here is where your psychologist can help you, you can together explore your issues and together decide on the next steps. The goals will be worked on for some time (whether it’s for a few weeks, months or maybe years depending on their severity).

Think of how helpful it can be for you, knowing that you have specific goals and are actively taking steps to reach them!

“Homework and therapy?”

Many psychologists, myself included, work effectively by setting mutually agreed homework to be completed between sessions. Let’s not forget that you cannot cover everything within one session. Just like you cannot become a proficient guitar player by only practicing during your lessons and need to practice at home, the same stands with your mental health. You cannot reach your goals without effectively putting into practice what is talked about during your sessions.

Homework may be to take some time to read a book or engage in a social activity, or it may be implementing the skills you learn each week.

“Do we make a good fit?”

This can seem like an awkward question to ask, but being straightforward with your psychologist can change your journey for the better! Ask them how they view your chemistry, whether and how they think they can help you or your family.

Please note that our work is driven by ethics. This means that if, for any reason, we think that we are not the best fit for you and your needs, it is the right thing to refer you elsewhere. This is definitely not a bad sign, but actually, we are ensuring that you are receiving the best possible services from the right person. This may include a colleague within a different location, specialty, gender, character traits, or even availability.

“How do you see my progress going?”

Having already been to 3-4 sessions, it is natural to ask your psychologist how they think you are progressing. This can open a conversation with both of you reflecting on what you have discussed so far and how the progress is made.

A reflective discussion will also highlight any patterns that may be holding you back. This can initiate exploring these patterns further and correcting them.

“Can we talk outside the office?”

Each psychologist has their own policies regarding receiving calls, texts, or emails outside of working hours or between sessions. Ask your psychologist for more information on their boundaries outside the session. Some psychologists charge a fee for contact outside the sessions or have set rules; knowing if and how you can reach them is important.

“What do we do if we spot each other outside the office?”

This can happen often; Cyprus is a small place, and Larnaca is even smaller. Personally, if I see one of my clients in public, I typically do not acknowledge them until they do first. This is my way of showing you that I do not want to make you feel nervous and that I respect your boundaries and our work, as you may not feel comfortable chatting, waving, or greeting me in public.

There unfortunately is still a stigma when working with a mental health professional, which should definitely NOT EXIST. I wish I was viewed the same way as your doctor, with who you can freely chat in public with no hesitancy, but I understand that our society is not there yet.

Let’s also not overlook that within our sessions, we discuss issues that can make you feel vulnerable, and bring out feelings of stress, anger, sadness or fear and panic. The last thing I want is for you to feel this way in public if you see me.

“Can I trust that you will keep everything I share with you between us only?”

Definitely! Everything you share with your psychologist in session is confidential and remains between the two of you, except in instances where it can be helpful for others to be made aware (such as parents of a young child or teenager), or if you are in danger to yourself or others; this will be discussed with you first.

In Cyprus, we are bound by the Ethics Code of the Cyprus Professional and Scientific Psychological Association, which you can read more about here.

“How do I know you will be focused on me and my care since you are so busy?”

I can only speak for myself on this matter. The training I have undergone has effectively taught me to multitask well. I effectively give each of my clients the same attention, empathy, brain space, and thought within each interaction we have. I don’t think that any of us can prove this, so it is up to me to earn your trust and believe that I am doing the best I can to care for you and your family to the best of my ability.

To ensure you are getting the best care possible for you and your family’s mental health, make sure you ask yourself some other important questions, such as:

• How soon after my session (if not during) did I feel relaxed after talking with my psychologist?

• Did I feel rushed to answer their questions? Was I given space and time before answering?

• Did this psychologist understand my questions, or did they misinterpret me or frequently need further clarifications?

• Did I feel comfortable? Did the conversation flow easily or did I feel awkward? If so, why did I feel awkward?

• What is their speaking style? Did I understand them, or do they use technical terms and vague statements that I could not make sense of?

• If I imagine my deepest and darkest, most vulnerable secret or fear, can I see myself sharing that with this person?

Remember: If the first mental health professional you visit does not seem like the right fit for you, please do not feel discouraged! There are many of us out there, and I’m sure you will find your right fit and will flourish within your journey!